Bloom 5 =)

Summary

My last dive into Bloom opens up a bright light to Lauren. She juggles between Dave and Evan like crazy. Lauren wants to spend more time with Evan but she doesn't want to be like her mother "the women who knows how to hurt people". Lauren spends majority of her Dave free days with Evan, but by the end of the day she's having dinner with Dave's family. They see her as the perfect girlfriend and future daughter in law. Lauren can't see what they see. Sooner on Evan catches onto the fact that Lauren hangs out with him at certain times because she doesn't wanna get caught with him. He feels as if he can't really push her but at the same time he doesn't wanna be the other guy. Evan brings out the real Lauren that is locked away when she's with Dave becasue she has to wear the perfect girlfriend image. Mored doors open to Lauren as she figures out that not everyone in her circle has a pefect life. Laurens fathr goes off for a business call and she feels a big emptiness in her house, she just spent more time with Evan. She finally told him how she felt, he understood; they felt the same about each other. Evan puts her in perspective of seeing she's also like her father for messing with two boys. But at the end of the day Evan really put his heart out there with the "L" word. This opened up her eyes to finally know where she wanted to be, with EVANS.

Quote
""I love you," I say as I watch his smile bloom i finally get how great those three little words are. I finally get what they really mean."

Reaction
This ending really shows how far Lauren has come to understanding herself and her mother. The author gives the reader a look at her stages of growing up out of her shell to become the person she's suppose to be. As a reader, I couldnt wait to read how Lauren would about breaking up with Dave. This was a really good book.

Bloom 4:)

Summary:
So chapter 16 starts off with lunch with the gang; which consist of her, katie, marcus, dave and dave's followers as lauren would call them. She recaps on how she doesn't belong here unless dave is here. She seems to zone out a lot thinking back to the night with her and evans. She tries to find him later on that day, eventually the meet in the library. When he takes her home they encounter her father coming home early. He doesn't even have one memory of evans at all and that upsets evans. The next day lauren tries to find evan but doesn't get the chance to because katie wants to know about her and dave's lunch together. Gail who has been another supportive character to lauren with knowng all her secrets tries to help lauren get evans attention. At the church event with dave lauren tries her best to keep her mind off of Evan but she can't, she feels so bad about what happened that night. soon enough that night after having pizza and hearing her father's apologies, she ends up at Evans door steps. her wild streak is released again. she feels different with Evans more of herself. Soon enough they spend more time with each other and his mom is around more. Well at least call more often.

Quote:
""So if i'd been her daughter, you would have forgotten me?" "Lee Lee-"  "Don't call me that," I say and open the fridge again, stare inside till i hear him walk away."

Reaction:
This opens up a whole new understanding to how she's startinng to feel about herself and what she should and shouldn't encounter. She has a helping hand "Gail", but Gail can only tell her so much. The author drags you into the book further because you want to be there for Laurens next move. My question is how long is she gonna hide it from Katie; Marcus has a little hint, but he doesn't say much.

Bloom =) 3

Summary:
Lauren has now went back down memory lane to when her mother was around. This seems to be one of her other conflicts she has besides the Dave & Evan shadang. She describes her mother as her women that wasn't ordinary; she had a wild streak that led her to things in her life, like her father. Her father was in college while her mother was just finishing up high school. They seemed happy for 4 years but then her "wild streak" pushed her in a different direction, a direction that didn't include Lauren or her father. Lauren sat back and noticed that that streak was also in her, the streak that makes her so interested in Evan. For once Lauren's dad eats with her but only to be inerrupted by a phone call from. Dave comes over but he feels weird when Lauren says he can come up to her room. They kiss and all but Dave is really hesitant. Lauren asked him why doesn't he want to kiss her? He feels wrong and tries again but this time she feels as if she's kissing Evan. . . Tisk Tisk Tisk. Later on the next day Dave pulls her off to the bleachers to talk to her about SOMETHING. . .she hopes that he's going to break up with her becasue she feels as if she isn't an ordinary girl she feels shye belongs somewhere else. BUT he doesn't break up with her he just complains about his parents and how they're worried about them. She becomes very mad. At the same time she has been avoiding Evans because she's been thinking about him way too much. Soon enough Marcus kinda has a feeling that Lauren has a thing for Evans but isn't really sure. Sure enough she forgets about her band performance, but makes it just in time. Katie on the other hand now has to be helped to see Marcus becasue his parents are strict. To waste time Lauren goes to the mall  and bumps into Evan he acts weird and she wonders why. She ends up finding out he's a lil tired so she makes sure he gets home safely. At his house her wild streak is released to be free.

Quote
"I think the way i feel about Evans comes from her"

Reaction
This goes to show that she is coming to understand her mother and why she herself feels the way she does now when it comes to Dave & Evan. Her wild streak, her opening, her understanding of real love.

Bloom =) 2

Summary:

Reading along through the next section of my reading, Lauren becomes more used to being around Evan since now everyday after school he's bringing her home. But on the way home one day Katie is in her driveway when Evan drops her off. Katie doesn't know it's Evans, she guesses it's Jack Hariss one of Lauren's history classmates. As Lauren gets ready for a date with Dave, She listens to Katie talk and soon after their convo she figures that Katie is tired and worn out but always wears a smile to cover it all. Katie was always known to be a early bird; Laurens knows why now. On her date with Dave to his little brother's basketball game, Lauren thinks about how she doesn't feel she belongs because Dave's family is too perfect. She never tells him about the fact that her mother leaving because she thinks he'll leave her. Dave talks about how they can attend the same college because he doesn't see himself in a big university; this would give them the chance to stay with each other. Lauren feels the idea is great along with the summer camp job for HIM, but not for her. When she gets home her father isn't home and when she wakes he's already gone, leaving a scruffy note.

Quote:
I'm someone better than Lauren Smith, who no one noticed till Dave came along. The thing is, that girl isn't me and I know it"

Reaction:
This made me think that she wasn't ready for a realtionship with Dave. Even though she is semi happy, she isn't at all. She doesn't feel she fits in for nothing at all. I don't understand why she doesn't just tell Dave how she feels and what is really going on.

Bloom =) 1

Summary:
The first 46 pages of Bloom introduced Lauren. She is a junior that feels she doesn't fit in a weird way. She meets her new best friend Katie at the library, her original best friend moved away;they had a lot in common. Katie and her Lauren on the other hand did volunteering hours for the school requirement. They didn't have much in common but wanting a boyfriend. Lauren just usually pretended she liked what Katie liked. So on into the book Lauren introduces her PERFECT BOYFRIEND. His name is Dave and he's the guy every girl wishes upon a star for. To her he's just too perfect and doesn't understand why a girl like him would want her. Their relationship has just placed them, well him at the center of attention. Yeah she feels popular but not popular she's suppose to feel hen going out with such a guy. The first day of school goes by with ease until history class where she meets Evan Kirkland, on of her dad's ex girlfriend's son. When they were younger they grew close but as usual Lauran's father doesn't know how to treat a women so Evan moved away and she never seen him again until history class. She doesn't know how to act so she just watches the clock. At the end of the day she sits waiting for Katie to drive her home, but Katie never shows; Evan does. Lauren can't stop thinking about him when she's home. when she does her homework she ends up writing his name on every line. After a while she gives up and just goes and watches tv until her Dad gets home. At school the next day everything seems okay until she sees Evan once again in the hallways. She feels as if he can read her whenever they stare at each other. At the end of the day once again Katie forsgets to pick up Lauren so she hitches a ride with Evan. This time they talk more about what has happened to each  other since they last saw each other when they were nine.

Quote:
"I want to look at Evan so bad it kind of scares me. I mange to make it about halfway through class before i crack" (Scott 37)

Reaction:
If this is the case with her feeling like that, why would she just sit there and make herself look stupid. i would just tell him how i feel or at least ask for a seat change so she won't end up making a mistake because so far her relationship sounds too perfect.

CVV # 3 4 & 5 Combined.

Summary
Theses next pages are based on how Karrine and Ja Rules's Relationship begins. Throught theses pages she feels she has a REAL family now because she is excepted into the business, Murder Inc.,, as Ja's crazy girl. She is very happy to be excepted but still inside she's baffaling around with emotions; she also barely home with her son, he's with her sitter. With Ja Rule she felt she built a good realtionship becsaue they were always together; most of the time sexully active. Due to their physical love she earned the nickname "SUPERHEAD". It was suppose to be between her and Rule, but it wasn't as it seemed. Karrine still held onto Ice-T, who aided her spending habbits, even though they didn't spend much time together. She also encounterd the freindship on a low level with Fred Dust, Who she talked to during the time after she met Ja Rule. They kicked it off even though it was within the business. Along the way Karrine was attending every cool party meeting new people. The legendary men that she involves herself with are very generous with their money, if not their time. Karrine became the girl all women that were involved with video business hated. She did, and wore things that no other female would do/wear, to grab the limelight. She grew off of attention and money. Through the years Karrine becomes involved with Shaquille O'Neal, who she doesn't really encounter any feelings for just uses him for his money in order to do things that benefit her more. Actor Vin Diesel who she is her co-star actor in a movie where they become sexually active behind the scene becasue their director wouldn't contridict to that kind of action .Jay Z didn't really have any typew of impact on her just another ATM. Ray J became her first true love even though his parents didn't like the idea becasue she was much older than him; at first they seen each other often, but then his work started to take off and that sent her clinging for more attention elsewhere. On Ray J's return, he came to find out that she was sleeping with lots of other menso their relationship ended. Irv Gotti was one of the dudes that stuck by her side and had her back when people (women) tried to get her eliminated from video shoots and so on; only under the condition of her performing oral sex. Also other men like DMX, Usher, P.Diddy and many others. Karrine's life begins to escalate out of control as she straddles the line between a legitimate actress in a Vin Diesel movie to a woman who sells her body to the highest bidder in order to stay afloat. Soon there's a big turn around in her life when the people she considered friends and familly weren't there to help her anymore. Calls after calls were either ignored or ended up with her listening to the dialing tone. Living out of a car with your own kin isn't and wasn't the life she wanted; she resorted back to stripping. It only took one pill to make her realize she needed to change her life ALL AROUND. Confessions of A Video Vixen is a cautionary tale, filled with sadness and tragedy, despair and triumph." DON'T WANNA GIVE AWAY THE GOOD ENDING!! =)
Quote:
I had known I Was Alone Before, But That Night It Was Made Painfully Clear Just How Alone I Was. I Cried All Night Until, Finally, I Fell Asleep" (Pg 162, Steffans)
". . .and i missed my son, wishing i could give him a home. My life was a mess." (pg 171, Steffans)
"I welcomed back Karrine Steffans" (pg 176, Steffans)

Reaction:
This book opened my eyes to the saying that people can change. Theses three qutoes are three climaxes of their own because they show how she slowly began to realize her life was deteriating and needed a big turn around; for the sake of her son. She usually had someone to fall back on, but no things start to change, they only used her for one thing and one thing only. Once Karrine cired alone w/ no type of symapthy not even from her father, her eyes began to open and she sees the one person she has to live for, her son. She lets go of her alter ego Yizette Santiago and welcomes back KARRINE STEFFANS.

CVV 2

Summary:
Karrine starts her relationship off with G normally as Yizette; her alter ego that would be her name when sh came across any music industry person. He showered her with everything she ever wanted. Soon enough she fell for that life, until slowly things started to change. he began to talk to women on the phone right in front of her face w/o any type of regret towards his actions. He made her feel like she was nothing. Soon enough he started abusing her. one incident was when she left the tails on the shrimp, he got mad and slapped her. All the abuse soon made her skinny and lanky; he almost killed her when he choked her. G had to lie at the hospital and of course she backed him up as usual. He forced her to do things she didn't wanna do; she had no choice to do it because it was either that or she was all alone. Karrine always had to "apologize" which meant oral sex. G suffered from seizures which would have Karrine always at his side. She had two miscarriages, but soon had her son on January 17,1998. G loved the child, but soon grew jealous of him because he got more attention. This only lead G to become more of a cheater than he already is. He brought his Exs back to the house where his new born lived. Sometimes Karrine would have to sleep in the living room w/ her baby. Soon enough she couldn't handle all the lies and abuse, so she left. G's right hand man, Chuck helped Karrine find a place out in LA. While in LA she her eyes land on Ice-T, who soon becomes her love and help she needed. To get her new life started she goes back to Ny and leaves Naiiam with G's family. Ice-T got her on track and later on when she was settled, she returned to retrieve her son. And along came Ja Rule. . . ."Stay Posted For My Next Post"

Quote:
"Without a hitch, my son and i quietly walked out and closed the door on a painful chapter. It was January 1999,and i was finally leaving Kool G Rap for good" (79 Steffans).


Reaction:
This reading mad me feel bad for her, but then again she stands as a bad image for women because if i was in this situation i would have left. I wouldn't care how much money no man had. I'm happy that her son gave her the courage to actually leave G and move on. I found it so nice how Chuck helped her out even tho G was his best friend; her witnessed the abuse. More over the life she lives is still not of positive quality because Ice-T had a family, she basically did what the other women was doing with G. It's good she got help from him, but it should of only been that and that only. So at the same time, I was happy and disgusted with her.

CVV1

Summary:
So far Karrine talks about her life as a child and growing up. Her mother didn't treat her the way all children should be treated as kids. She grew up in NY with the supporting hand of her Grandmother, but sooner he mother envied the support and compliments she received. Karrine would get beatings from her mother, so were so bad she'd bleed. After a while her mother picks up and leaves to Florida where Karrine goes from a A+ Student down to a -F Student. Her mother portrays her a  bad daughter that does drugs and has non-stop sex. Things just go down hill for her instantly. She lost her virginity in the worse way possible and her mother wasn't supportive; even worse didn't believe her. Soon enough Karrine runs away only to get caught, but was given the chance to move in with her father to avoid her mother. So off to Phoenix she went. There was happiness there, but it soon faded away, leaving Karrine no choice but to leave and find her own way. Her boyfriend at the time helped her, but his mother helped her even more when she was put on to fast money as a Stripper. Soon enough she meets G who seems to be her everything, but ends off her worst nightmare

Quote
"I turned on my radio and there was Patti LaBelle singing "Somebody Loves You". I listened closely to the words of the song. it was the first time i had heard them and it touched me to the core."



Reaction
These first 50 pages mad me feel really bad for her, it gave me the big picture of why she chose to do what she did because there was a emptiness that no one could fill so they cycle continued. It really shows that you can never judged a book by it's cover, most people called her a whore, slut, skank, etc., but they didn't see the whole picture. There's always a reasoning behind everyones actions no matter what.